In times of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty, I put a lot of questions out there, into the world. Some of them are just prayers for some help, any help possible, others are desperate like “What else do I have to do?”, “When?”, “How?”. For both categories, the answers are not very clear or fast. I wait and wait, and fear more, and struggle even more.
But when I take time for myself to relax and enjoy the ride (not too often, I can tell you), the right questions appear. And the answers are in themselves, like magical stones of wisdom and clarity.
The only way out of my mind (my turbulent times and my ego) is this: ask better questions.
This is how I’ve discovered these 6 magical questions that forever changed my life.
1. What do you appreciate lately (or now) in your life? What brings you joy and ease?
You can start with simple, lovely things, that don’t bring resistance or any kind of discomfort.
You can appreciate your pillow or your white silky sheets, you can appreciate a flower or a beautiful day, the fresh air you breathe, the sun and the full moon, your lovely pet, your friend who is near your with all his heart, a glass of wine or a delicious meal.
I appreciate… the water. I love all the seas and oceans and lakes and rivers on this planet. I love boats and beaches, and to take long hot showers, with soft scented soaps and oils, and I love to drink iced water. I love the sound of water, the music of the waves, and the smell of the ocean. I love seagulls, fish, dolphins, and seals.
And you can go on like this as long as you like, or as short as 2-5 minutes. In writing is the best!
2. What are you grateful for? General things. And then, more specific.
You don’t have to make long lists, but to really feel what you are writing down.
Choose just 3 things you are grateful for and write all your motives for that.
I am grateful for this world because it is full of possibilities, is full of beauty and grace, of magical things, of amazing people, and I can see it and enjoy it and discover and explore it. I am grateful for all the nature, for the sun and stars, for the clouds and rain, for the sunny days. This world is my deepest, astonishing love.
I am grateful for Vlad, my love. Our moments are real gold. Kisses and cuddling and hard questions, understandings, kindness, and even the little fights. The time when we are cooking together, or that precious moment when I see his smile in the front of a new destination. The silence. The movies. His wisdom. Our space and time.
I am grateful for my work, it makes me feel alive and helpful. For my articles, my writing gift, for my collaborations with extraordinary people, for my boldness, my emails, my courage to be vulnerable and present.
3. What do you really love? What dreams and desires do you have?
Write here all the secret desires of your heart. Let go of how’s and when’s. Write with joy and pleasure.
I love the sea and I would love to live on a boat for some time.
I love to write emails and to send my ideas into the world. I wish to trust myself more and to ask for what I really want.
I love to be rich and have an abundant life. I want more money energy into my experience.
4. How would you want to feel? (how do you believe that your wishes will make you feel?)
We always ask for things, but in fact, what we really want are the emotions behind them.
If you ask for more money, like me, it’s never about the money, but about the things you will do with that money and the feelings you think you’ll feel.
Take every dream, feel it completed, and write about that.
Freedom. Peace. Joy.
Joy. Freedom. Power.
5. What else makes you feel these emotions? With what (action, dreams, memories, imagination) can you associate them?
Now, look deep into these feelings. You already have them inside you. What do they mean to you?
Freedom = to work, sleep, play and go out when I want. To say YES and NO when I want, to whom I want.
Peace = things always happen for me, not to me. I choose how I react and how I feel. Sleep. Relaxation. Play.
Joy = to do only what I love to do. And to play, laugh and relax more.
Power = to own my shit. to accept and to appreciate it. to stay on my road, no matter what. to believe. to have faith. to fail and to rise again.
6. What can you do right now to feel those emotions?
Now, if you understand what these feelings mean, you can translate them into simple actions. They are “doable” or “figuretable” (as Marie Forleo says).
I want to sleep more, enjoy the present moment, play more, laugh more, take the time to appreciate everything, and to try things that I am scared of, to be responsible for my beliefs and actions and to stay strong and flexible.
This is it. It works like magic, if you try it daily, even twice a day. I answer these questions every morning (10-20 minutes), then in the evening – I write on my phone 1-2 things that I really appreciated in that day.
Be constant. Be joyful. Just play this game and you will thank me.