I strongly believe that what we do and what we have don’t represent who we are and, in fact, don’t say anything about us, like human beings.
We can do a lot of things. Work hard, dream hard, procrastinate, sing, dance, act, wear a mask, heal, inspire, hate, make love, create, die, take baby steps, fail, and much more. Do these actions say something specific about us? Nope. We are not what we do.
We can have a lot of “stuff”. Properties, cars, family, friends, money, debt, relationships, clutter, etc. These things do not say anything about us either. We are not what we have.
Yes, many people judge and make charts with what we have to do and to accomplish in order to be worthy. But, deeply inside we know the truth: what other people think doesn’t matter.
So, here we are.
Naked of our do-ings, naked of our belongings, vulnerable and sometimes lost.
In the moment I stepped into my boss’ office, 6 years ago, with my resignation and tears in my eyes, I felt that my work life was over. I didn’t have a clue what’s next. I felt lost, pushed by my strong emotions, defeated, and with no place to go.
But then, when I walked out of the building, it was like a new door just opened up for me. It was a spring morning, fresh and pure, and I felt that my work-life, as I knew it, was transformed not ended. And it doesn’t say anything about me.
Then the really hard times begun. But these 6 years were the most liberating, provocative, adventurous and daring of my life.
Every morning, I sit on my home desk, with a white page open in front of me, asking myself who am I. What else is possible? What can I create now that’s never been possible before?
And yes, sometimes (always) is a mess.
I have days with 16 hours of work. Inspired or just… hard. I fail tremendously. I lay on the floor asking myself why am I here and what is this. And I have easy, funny, joyful days, with my love. And I have a lot of boredom when something is changing (not as fast as I wish). And I have moments of magical inspiration and creation, ideas that transcend reality in a second, and questions answered in a heartbeat.
I am not my work, my love life, my things, and I am not even my boss.
I am the owner of my thoughts, my emotions, my dreams, and beliefs.
If I fail, my critics will be there for me. Always. But their opinion doesn’t really matter because they are not in the ring with me. If I have a glorious success, my fans will be there, telling everybody that I had an overnight breakthrough. Harder work can bring results or not. A happy family and a nice home can be fulfilling or not. Having more money can bring opportunities or not. In the face of life, I am just me. Alone.
Control, certainty, safety – don’t exist! They are just the justification of our ego, his attempt to survive. The ego will keep us safe, but will not let us touch the highest emotions, the highest reward: being yourself.
We don’t have to choose between work and family. We don’t have to choose between office time and holidays. We don’t have to choose between home and adventure. We can have the whole cake and eat it too.
Because those things and actions don’t define us. We choose how much love, attention, enthusiasm and time put in every slice of the cake.
But if we know who we are – wholehearted and worthy human beings – we can put ALL in every piece of the cake. All our love, attention, enthusiasm, emotion, and truth. All our heart.
We can step outside naked every day. Without the armor, without the fear of being deprived of something, or the fear of missing out.
If you love your work, then love it. Fully. If you love your family, then love it. If you love being alone sometimes, so be it. You can have everything. And if you fail, be true to yourself, be kind to you and your people. No judgments, no conclusions, no excuses.
There are 3 steps to be yourself, vulnerable and powerful: make a choice, let go and come into view.
* Make a choice to be gentle, loving and kind to yourself and to appreciate everything as it is.
* Let go of anything that is not a “Hell, yes!”.
* Come into view. Let yourself be seen. In work, in love, in family, in world.
You don’t have to balance work and life, you don’t have to tear them apart either. There is a special glue you can use on everything. This special glue is LOVE.
So, you guys, turn on the love. Step into the world with your naked truth, talk fiercely about your passions and dreams, no matter if they are about your work or personal life. Just put them out there, into view. And don’t expect anything. Just turn the love like a bold light over the faces, critics, choices, and cloudy days.